Ten Men, a Thousand Laughs, and no Strings Attached.

For the men who didn’t make me smaller.

There are men who teach you that safety isn’t always tied to romance. They come with a beautiful mix of consistency, honesty, and soul-level care in its purest form.

They show up, physically and emotionally. Presence.

They choose you through the good and the bad. Intentionality.

They tell the truth with care and respect. Kindness.

They make space for you to be unfiltered, messy, whole. Safety.

They’re deeply committed to your wellbeing. Loyalty.

They make you laugh and leave you lighter. Joy Bringers.

They support your growth and cheer you on. Supportive.

Your mistakes don’t disqualify you. Forgiving.

This newsletter is for some of the men in my life who have stayed. The ones who consistently choose kindness and never make me feel small.

I’ll be highlighting them. Ten of them.

Each different, yet all bound by the sacred art of being in my corner. Always.

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Abraham aka Aybee

The one with whom I rarely ever need words.

One of my favorite things about Aybee is that he always knows. Even the things you think he doesn’t, he does. Aybee is the voice of wisdom and reasoning. He’s the friend that everyone else relies on when they need to be held steady.

Aybee is my soft landing for tears, and easily the funniest person I know.

How can one person drag you by all your edges and still leave you feeling so loved?

It’s everything about this talented, kind friend of mine for me.

It’s how, on random days, I’d get credit alerts that read, “Big girls should never be broke.” Lmaooo. I love it so much.

And so, to the one who holds others without asking to be held in return,

I see you. I love you.

And I’m so grateful for you.

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Gregory aka My Turtle

My creative genius twin. If I had to coin a phrase for Greg, it would be “The Quiet Anchor.” Mehn, what a human. I call Greg at the slightest inconvenience. And I mean at the slightest inconvenience. Damsel in distress? Always with this young man. Whether I break something in my refrigerator, my car breaks down, or I stumble on a random math problem that needs solving, he’s my go-to person.

In areas where I mostly feel unseen and misunderstood, Greg sees me. You know how in math, π (pi) is always constant, about 3.1415… and no matter how big or small the circle, π stays the same? That’s how I feel about Greg. A constant. Reliable. Ever-present. Always showing up in every equation of my life.

Always ready and willing to help. Always there with the encouragement and like-mindedness. We are so alike and yet so different. I don’t see a world where I’m not friends with Greg. If he runs, best believe I’d chase after him 😂. Stuck with me forever. Pray for him, guys.

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Greatman aka Greateeeeeeeeeee

Greatman, my superstar friend. A lot of heroes don’t wear capes, nope, they hold mics and save the world one melody at a time. Who needs superpowers when you’ve got a killer falsetto?

But beyond the stage, Greatee is the ultimate Show-Up King.

And I mean that literally. He’s the friend who would show up at your house at 4am because there’s a family emergency. The one who’d take hour-long walks with you just to understand the state of your heart. The one who holds up a mirror so you can see all of yourself and still prays for you in the middle of your struggles.

Where the world sees Melody Man, the star, I see one of the kindest souls I’ve had the privilege of knowing.

My Show-Up King… in the same way I never doubt that you have my back always, I hope you never forget that you’re loved truly and never without support. Ever.

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Chidi aka Xoxo

If I was ever asked to list my favorite humans God created, I’m telling you straight up now, with all biases included, that Xoxo is making the top 5 on that list.

To meet a person who is truly good to their core is so rare. And he’s just one of those people. A sounding board for me. The wisdom of God distinguishes him.

His voice? Purely angelic. It had to have been made in Heaven and nowhere else.

His heart? Solid gold.

Again, knowing a person who is truly good to their core is so rare.

Chidi is a gentle reflection of Abba, a lion and a lamb, depending on the situation 😂.

If there’s only one person on earth remaining that loves me, then it’s Chidi.

If there isn’t… actually, that’s not possible, because I’ll always have him.

I need you guys to understand that for every defining moment I’ve had in my adulthood, Xoxo has been there, holding me up and cheering me on. Just like Aybee, he holds everyone else without asking to be held in return.

What. A. Man.

I can call myself wealthy, not because of material possessions, but because I have friends like these.

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Mello aka King of Kind Gestures

Mello is quiet, except when he isn’t. Around his people, he transforms into a professional nuisance, loud and carefree in the best way. He’s a creative soul, a well of talent and vision. A producer genius behind many of Afro Gospel’s finest sounds. And yes, I’m the one who makes him spend money recklessly and unapologetically. Sorry, not sorry.

Mello is sweet, calming, occasionally stubborn, and frequently annoying, but he’s gold. The kind of friend whose presence stills the noise. He gives without asking, creates with heart, and reminds me often that goodness really does exist in people. What a gift he is. My Chiemielie, a girl’s guyest guy! Best in calling me “Bolanle!” Again, a nuisance but mine😂.

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Timi Trigger aka TK

Kind. Patient. Talented. Supportive. Present. Funny. I could go on and on and on and on.

TK lives in Lagos, which is rude because that means I don’t see him nearly enough. But distance has nothing on us. My TK is rhythm and unfiltered good energy. We fight like cats, banter like clowns, and love like family.

An artist full of soul and spice, and I stress his life for free. But what I love most is his heart. He’s troublesome in the best ways, and one of the truest friends I’ve known. We root for each other loud and proud, and that’s the kind of friendship I’d pick again and again.

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Angeloh aka Love Child

Angeloh is my big brother in every sense. Older, wiser, married, and deeply anchored in truth. One time, during Aramanda 2024, in the thick of planning madness, I was battling something deeply personal. And he, mid-chaos, stopped to speak life into me. His words didn’t just soothe; they saved.

That’s Angeloh. Wisdom wrapped in warmth. Calm, intentional, and rooted in God. A true artist. From making beautiful love songs that reflect Christ to his genius illustrations, pure talent. We call him Love Child because he was born on February 14th, and his life reflects that name perfectly. He loves freely, leads gently, and somewhere along the way, he and his wife adopted me. Not by force alone (I promise I didn’t hold a gun to his head) but by love. Real, covering, stay-for-life kind of love.

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Icon aka Mr. Doings

Icon is easily the most resourceful person I’ve ever met. I kid you not. If I’m stuck, he’s the manual. The plug. The extension cord that connects people to possibility. My business partner, my brainstorming buddy, my guy.

He’s smart, hilarious, wildly helpful, superrr creative, and moves through life with this effortless grace that says, “We’ll figure it out.” And we always do. Icon is an all-time fav, not just for what he does, but for who he is. He’s truly iconic, always doing iconic stuff. And I love it!

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Caleb aka CM

Caleb is the biggest troll in my life. No exaggeration. A certified bully, don’t worry, I bully him back. Our friendship is a constant back-and-forth of chaos, and loud laughter. But beneath all that madness is brilliance.

He’s hilarious, yes, but also deeply intelligent. Every time he speaks, it’s like wisdom flows directly from the throne room. It’s uncanny. You can’t help but pause and listen. And when he sings? He doesn’t take you to the presence of God gently, he throws you in. No detours. No distractions.

He’s got his head on straight, he’s golden, and somehow manages to be a whole character while carrying the weight of God’s presence with such grace. A girl’s favorite, obviously. And yes, I have many favorites. That’s the whole point of this newsletter. Y’all will be alright.

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Tosin Opaleke aka Mr. Reliable

Tosin and I go way back, like way back. We’ve grown through so many phases of life side by side, and it’s been one wild, beautiful adventure. Watching who he’s become makes me so proud. He’s the best stand-up comic in the world (argue with your Wi-Fi), and that’s without even diving into his media agency work or his job as the most sought-after event MC. He’s closing shows across the United States, building something meaningful, and just doing big things. My heart beams every time I see it.

Tosin is a rock. Steady, reliable, always there when it counts. He’s one of my biggest cheerleaders, and we don’t even talk every day. Ours isn’t the kind of friendship with constant texting or FaceTime calls. But when we connect, it’s real, it’s deep, it’s full. And even when we don’t, he’s in the shadows, reading every Substack, posting everything I promote, supporting me like clockwork.

Tosin is the definition of a supportive friend. Period. And I love him deeply, I’m rooting for him for all of my life. All of it.

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I could write a million things about each person above and it still wouldn’t be enough to capture what they mean to me, individually and as a collective. Seeing as they’re all in the business of music and entertainment, it’s no surprise they exist poetically and in color. Vibrant. Bold. Loud when it matters. Quiet when it counts.

We live in a generation where men don’t always have the best PR, but here I am , with these ones who give me bragging rights. God took some of the finest men He ever created and placed them in my life.

This is better than winning the lottery.

Thanks for coming on this journey of reflection and gratitude with me.

Here’s to friendships with depth, to a thousand laughs that heal, and to the kind of love that doesn’t need romance to be real.

You remind us that it’s possible to feel safe and seen, without conditions, without fear.

May the love you give so freely return to you multiplied.

With Love and deep gratitude,

Fola.